Self praise builds confidence

The benefits of self-praise are what praise elevates. Too often, you may expect praise from another, and if you don’t receive it, you may feel unappreciated and unloved. While being appreciated by others is welcome recognition, you should turn your attention inward and affirm the quality of your abilities for yourself.

Have you ever noticed the common human trait of self-criticism? If you’re like most others, you’ll be a fantastic self-critic. And like most of us, you probably refrain from praising yourself. Oh okay, I know when you complete a monumental task you can praise yourself, but on a daily basis, how many things do you do that you praise yourself for?

Take a look at your life and see what you are good at. Your list could include driving, knitting, typing, gardening, or skiing, among many other things. Have you ever wondered why you are good at those things and not others? The simple answer is that the things you are good at are things you praised yourself for or things you can do because others praised you.

What you focus on grows

It is a well known psychological fact that whatever we focus on grows and becomes bigger. That’s why criticism never works, unless of course if the point of the criticism was to make the situation worse, in which case it works perfectly. Self-criticism can only make whatever you’re criticizing worse. If instead, you look for the things that you can appreciate yourself for, they will also grow.

Larry suffered from memory loss. At 77, his thinking was that the condition was inevitable. After some training, he agreed that he was always focusing on the things that he forgot and completely ignored the many things that he remembered. He was reminded that he remembered many more things than he forgot, and yet he failed to focus on them at all.

As children, we are often left to ourselves when we behave well and punished when we misbehave. This sets up a pattern or habit for life and we continue to do the exact same thing to ourselves as adults and have fled the nest. They told her that to improve her memory she should start concentrating on the things she remembered and celebrate them. In this way, your mind would listen to your new focus of attention and your memory would improve.

Gill was on a diet and hard on herself for every rambling, but she gave no thought to her improvements. All she was doing was instructing her mind to make more mistakes and eat more useless food. When she started a journal to record the improvements she had made and wrote in it every night, she found it easier to stick to her eating plan.

If you want to start an appreciation journal, you can head the page:

“Well done, you remembered these things today.”

• “How to surf the Internet”.

• “How to prepare a meal.”

• “To pay for car insurance.”

• “To call my daughter.”

• “Take my suit to the cleaners.”

Or try……”Today I appreciate you very much Gill because you:

• “He walked past the cookies and left them alone.”

• “I left two peas on the plate at dinner.”

• “I removed the leftovers in the bin.”

• “She took the time to pack a healthy lunch to take to work.”

This new focus will send your subconscious mind in a new direction, one that benefits you rather than hinders you.

Life, is an Mirror

When you appreciate yourself, you will also be appreciated by others. Others are reflecting back to you what you believe about yourself. So the praise has to start with you at home. You may not have noticed it, but most of the things that others praised you for were things that you had already decided were easy for you and felt good about.

When you start to praise yourself, others will subliminally pick up on that through your body language and energy patterns, and the compliments will come more from outside influences. In addition, self-praise increases self-confidence and the ability to manage any task. Praising yourself for a job well done and focusing on the smallest improvements can get you from where you are now to where you want to go.

Giving yourself positive feedback about your accomplishments will help you feel more confident and empowered and will instruct your subconscious to give you more to praise. You may turn to others to validate your accomplishments and rarely acknowledge your abilities yourself. Lack of self-praise is a loud and clear message to yourself that the opinions of others are more important than your own.

Notice every little improvement

Once you’ve changed your approach to how to praise, notice every little improvement. Don’t wait for the Big Bang to happen. Instead, look at the little things. When you have a cold or the flu, you’re not terribly sick one day and then completely well the next. Recovery occurs in increments. One day you start to feel a bit of relief, and you comment on it by saying, “I feel a little better today.” The next day brings new improvements, also discussed and every day your health improves.

Think of this process in the same way. As you comment on your improvements, however small, and continue to comment on a daily basis, you recover from whatever has been bothering you.

Jane’s house was a mess with boxes stacked everywhere from her previous move. Although she had lived in her new house for over two years, nothing had changed. She told me, “Nothing I do makes any difference, as soon as I empty out a couple of boxes, more stuff shows up.” This was because when she did solve a box or two she would still focus on what she hadn’t done.

Instead of congratulating herself on the improvements, she looked at the rest and said things like, “I’ll never finish” or “There’s still a mountain to tackle.” As she began to praise herself for her accomplishments, the boxes began to dwindle and the last time I saw her, although the progress was still slow, at least she had cleared the hallway and the stairs.

Conclusion

Celebrate your successes and forget your failures. Focusing on failure creates more failure. Nothing you criticize yourself for will improve, so what’s the point of that? The next time you criticize yourself, ask yourself, “Do I really want to make this worse?” If the answer is NO, then find something you can appreciate about yourself and make it grow.

for your success

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