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There is no such thing as pride when you have to pay rent.

That’s the first thing I learned when I moved out on my own. This fact was painfully amplified when I started supporting my family.

You start by having a safety net to fall back on that includes your parents, friends or family. Then that comes back to banks and credit cards. Then your last line of defense, payday loans and pawn shops. If you’ve ever gone to a pawn shop or payday loan lender, there tends to be a feeling of shame or failure that goes along with it.

“How did I end up here?”

“Why has this happened to me?”

“Why does it cost $500 or more to fix something wrong with my car?”

Sounds familiar? Well, I’m here to tell you, THIS IS LIFE. Expect bad things to happen, and trust me, no one is immune. At some point in everyone’s life, things suck. You have 2 options: see it as a challenge to overcome or throw in the towel. I’ve never been a throw in the towel type of man, so here are some tips.

Leave shame at the door.

What you look like in front of other people does not matter. Let me repeat it, it doesn’t matter how you look in front of other people!

Your neighbors, your family, your friends, your children’s teachers, the postman, I really don’t care who it is. These people are not paying their bills or supporting their family, YOU ARE!

If you’re not prepared to sacrifice a little dignity and pride, you chose the wrong planet to live on. In every situation I’ve been in, I’ve repeated these words over and over in my head: “The worst thing you can do is say no.” Seriously, that’s the worst thing they can do. If he says no, just say “Thank you” and walk back out the door. No one has been arrested for asking a question.


This is such a simple thing, but you’d be surprised how many people can’t do it. Something to remember, everyone likes to deal with someone who is understanding, patient and polite. The people behind the counter are human beings, just like you. They have their own lives and getting frustrated with them will not solve any of your problems. In general, I have found that the nicer I am and the easier I make things for them, the more they go out of their way to please me. Extra days to pay, stay open 5 minutes late because I was late, all because he was nice. It always seemed strange to me to argue with someone who is lending me money.

Always return phone calls

This kind of goes along with being nice. If you don’t owe something, not talking to your lender only makes things worse. In my experience, they are always willing to work something out with you. When they never hear from you is when they start taking drastic measures. I worked in car collections when I started my career. I would never fail. I would call a person for 2 months straight and never speak to them. Guess what happened after his car was repossessed? They couldn’t call me fast enough. Avoiding the problem only made it worse. If they had called and made arrangements, they probably would have still been driving their car. Contrary to what some people think, because lenders DON’T WANT YOUR CAR! The average loss on recovery is $5000.00. They would rather you keep driving and paying for your car.

Hopefully, these tips will help you mentally prepare to face whatever comes your way financially. I found out that internal force outweighs external force every day of the week.

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