What does your body say about you? Do you know what the ground is like? After a meeting, can you tell me what color your eyes are? Can you remember every detail of his face, or can you only remember his shirt and bottoms? When you meet someone in this world, your body language will completely reveal what kind of person you are. Do you want to turn a woman off within the first thirty seconds of meeting her? Then, she looks right at her chest when you introduce yourself. Do you want me to think that you are a weak and unhappy person? Then look down at her drink the entire time you’re contemplating giving a presentation.
Our body language gives us away. As men, we realize it, but as women, they seal our fate based entirely on the way we behave and the way we hold their eyes with ours when we speak or listen. It is an incredible gift that they have, the ability to tell us everything about ourselves through the messages our bodies send when we sit, stand, walk, talk or listen. They can tell if we have a low image of ourselves, if we are nervous or confident. They can even tell if our fathers were homeless losers or our mothers abused us. How they get all this information from the way we hold our bodies, I’ll never know. But I know it’s worth the effort to become aware of your body and your body language.
Okay, so you have pretty bad posture and you slouch when you sit and you tend to look down (or at chest level) too often. Sure, I could tell you about the benefits of wandering around your house with a book on top of your head, but that kind of serious posturing is really more for the Baryshnikov types of the world. Men don’t normally walk like that. However, check your posture in the mirror. What is your impression of yourself when you see yourself standing there? Do your shoulders sag forward as if you’re carrying a terrible family secret? Are you? Do you give yourself a double chin but hips slouch forward and keep a downward gaze? These things are fixable, and they are fixable in two ways.
Correcting poor body language can be done from the outside or from the inside. If you are going to correct it from the outside, you are going to have to be aware of your posture all the time until it becomes a habit. In most cases, you need to do a task repeatedly for at least thirty days before it becomes habitual. Take a look at the way you walk, the way you sit, and the way you stand. These are the three basic body language positions that will give you away very quickly. You could be a fabulous guy and a great potential partner. She will never know unless you stand up and look directly, but gently, into her eyes when you speak and listen. If you have a dog or cat, she practices looking at them while you talk if you feel silly practicing on yourself in the mirror.
Of course, maybe you don’t want to practice anything at home. Sounds like a girl thing, right? It’s your choice, but breaking free from an old habit is nearly impossible without enough practice. Spending a little time evaluating your posture can save you years in the dating world. If you’re not going to practice at home, then absolutely practice wherever you go. Stand up straighter, look everyone in the eye with a direct but gentle kindness, shake hands like a man, and walk like you have a purpose.
You can also help improve your posture by working from the inside out. Usually, it’s our emotional baggage that keeps us from slumping our shoulders and preventing us from making firm but kind eye contact. It could be the gift of abuse from your parents or it could be some horrible secret you feel you’re hiding from the world, but a shrug and a shrug is definitely a sign that you’re feeling down. Eye contact is difficult for those who have not been able to feel good about themselves. Using eye contact can feel intimidating and even a little vulnerable. Therefore, women receive much more information from the way their eyes react to hers than anything else. If they move away quickly, they see deception. If they continually navigate to your chest, you will see a pig. And if they remain cemented to the ground, you will see an emotional project.
The better you feel about yourself, the more likely you are to walk with authority, stand tall, create warm and welcoming eye contact, and of course appear approachable even from a distance. The more you can forgive yourself for your past mistakes and the more you realize that you have immense value in this world, the more open you will seem because you will honestly become more open. Apart from the great advantage of sending the right physical signals to the women you hope to meet, you will also feel like a better person with a lot to offer any woman. You may even be surprised by the changes that can occur in other areas of your life.
Men with strong postures are more easily promoted, have smarter and more attractive wives, and even have more friends. Using good posture to represent that you are a strong and proud man is a normal part of our daily lives. Of course, since we’ve been out of high school long enough to forget the rule in the back when slouched in our seats, we may need to find other ways to remind ourselves to walk tall and stand confidently.
Posture is so vital that men have been known to take week-long seminars to improve their posture. Each of those seminars costs about $1,000 minimum, with many in the $3,000 to $5,000 range. It seems a little cheaper to dig in, let loose, and believe in yourself as much as possible. You are a good catch. It’s perfectly fine for you to know that fact.
Women know when you’re faking it. They seem to have an innate radar that tells them exactly what you feel and how much you don’t want them to know. Your eye contact will tell them everything they need and more within the first thirty seconds of the meeting. No matter what your tummy looks like or your concerns about the size of your personal affairs, your eyes are his peephole to see if he has time to stop and talk to you or not. Given that, it would really make sense to spend some time assessing how much you give away with your eyes and body posture to look like the competent and capable man you really are.