1. You ask your husband to choose between you and your children

You see children as a competition and you are determined to win.

2. You don’t know much about your stepchildren

You spend all your time concentrating on your own children and your new husband and you don’t see the need to meet your stepchildren.

3. Asks her husband to drink you Go out to dinner on your child’s birthday and tell him to celebrate the child’s birthday another day.

4. You don’t recognize the stepson’s birthdays or any other special event in their lives.

5. You treat your children better than theirs

You make sure your children have everything they need, and you let their birth mother discover what her own children need.

6. You interrupt your husband when he talks to his children on the phone.

What could he be talking about that is more important than you?

7. You let your children figure out for themselves where to sleep and put their things when they visit their dad.

After all, the beds in the house are for those who live here full time, right?

8. You have different house rules for your children and then for your children.

9. You do not allow your stepchildren to bring friends to your home.

10. You don’t allow your stepchildren to spend time alone with their dad when they come to visit.

Joking aside, being a stepmom is one of the toughest jobs in the world. When you marry a man with children, you promise to love and care for his children as if they were your own. Children generally do not appreciate a new stepfather and will not appreciate his efforts for some time (sometimes they never acknowledge the positive impact he has had on their lives).

Stepparents do not compete with children, although many people feel that way. The love an adult feels for his spouse is different from the love he feels for his children. There is enough love for everyone, without anyone suffering. Creating and maintaining house rules and keeping marriage at the center of the family are key issues in a stable and loving environment for children.

Talking to your stepchildren about their interests and hobbies will build a good relationship with them. Celebrating their birthdays, special school events, or any holiday is a wonderful opportunity to bring your reconstituted family together and create memories of this new family.

It is also important to provide them with a private place to store their things when they visit their dad. You do not need a private bedroom (although it is ideal). However, you should give each child a safe place to put their things and a place to hang out when they are home.

Although you want to spend time as a blended family, it is a good idea to give your husband individual time with these children when they come to visit. Spend this time with your children or do something for yourself. Your stepchildren will appreciate this time and will also feel more comfortable in combined family times.