There is an old joke about how a married couple goes to Hawaii for their honeymoon. In her bedroom, the husband takes off his pants and says “put those pants on.” The wife looks at her husband and says “honey, they’re too big.” “That’s right,” says the man, “now you know who wears the pants in this family.” The wife takes off her pants and tells the husband “put these pants on.” The husband replies “honey, these are too small; I can’t get into your pants.” The wife says “that’s right, and if you keep that attitude, you never will.” Does this sound like your situation? Maybe yours is a real domineering wife who constantly disrespects you, maybe even in front of your friends. Does she hit you or slap you across the face? Has she done it herself in front of your friends? Our wives agreed to become one with us, to support and build us up in sickness and in health, right? How does that build a family when the woman morally destroys her man? If she feels that she may be having trouble in this area of ​​her marriage, read on.

You may have heard this before “A woman needs love just as much as a man needs respect.” In fact, this is a true statement. It is more important for a man to be respected than to be loved. However now, in our society facing equal rights, many men have forgotten what it means to be a man and many women have forgotten how to treat their men. Your wife could be fighting for your attention and she found a negative channel to get that attention; she might be jealous of your success and she regrets having to stay home with the kids while you “run away” for 8 hours; maybe her self-esteem is so low that she destroys you to build herself; or another very common reason is that she starts caring only for herself.

There are several studies that prove that the level of achievement or success that a man can achieve both financially and in the family is directly related to his wife’s support; and respect is at the heart of the problem. Human beings are built with requirements for emotional support systems. We’ve all heard of Hitler’s horrible experiments where they ignored certain babies…just did basic feedings and diaper changes, but showed them no love, no hugs or kisses, didn’t even talk to them. These babies were all dead within 6 months for no real reason except for lack of love in their lives. Men need that channel of support too or they can quickly lose focus on the task at hand or prioritize incorrectly. A man with a supportive wife can achieve ten times more than he could alone. However, a man with a morally destructive wife will achieve ten times less than if he were alone. If you are one of those with a domineering wife, think about your job performance, when was the last time you had a successful idea or actually got a promotion? Are you close to your children? Do your children love you? What about her? All these are symptoms of a bitter destroyer of a family.

Now let me clear this up, there are men who take this topic too far and demand that respect inappropriately. If your girl is like the one in that joke, then you have a decent relationship and this article isn’t really for you. However, there are women who cross the line and really dominate the family to such an extent that that house and that family becomes a nightmare for everyone involved. So how can this be fixed? The very difficult first step is to get him to stop doing the things that disrespect you the most; as if she slapped you across the face. You will have to prepare for this. Get a gym membership right away. If your wife is financially locked up, then borrow a co-worker’s card. She should limit herself to about 20 minutes jogging and lifting plus another 10 minutes to shower and change back into work clothes. Use the money she gives you for snacks at work for your public clothes washer and dryer. This starts to rebuild your self-confidence; Although, if you can find a way to keep $50 a month, then you can join a karate gym and build that self-confidence even faster. To tell her to stop doing those things, you’ll need a lot of that self-confidence that she so effectively destroyed years ago. You may also need to have the physical strength to stop her from hitting you, or worst case scenario, you’ll need that karate you learned to defend yourself against her. The first step now is to get him to stop and realize that you are no longer going to tolerate certain behavior that bothers you. You must learn to find ways to let her know when certain things she does make you feel disrespected, and you must do it in a way that makes her notice. One of my favorite ways is in this joke. A wife was preparing a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Watch out,” he said, “WATCH OUT! Put on some more butter! You’re cooking too much at once. TOO MUCH! Turn it over! TURN IT NOW! We need more butter. WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET MORE BUTTER? “You’re going to HIT! Careful! CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! spin them! Hurry up! Do not forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.” . Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!” The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?” The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it’s like to drive.”

Although going that far is likely to lead to a fight, this wife clearly saw that her husband was very upset by his disrespectful behavior in the car. You must become like this. Not a donkey, but a person who has a backbone and can disagree with his wife’s things and, more importantly, make the final decision in that situation. She would advise you to spend three to six months in the gym (depending on how much self-confidence you need) before telling her to stop her disrespectful behavior.

The second step is to take responsibility and start making decisions that positively affect the family. Learn about things you don’t want to learn, like finding the best quality car for your budget and buying it regardless of what she says. In a healthy relationship, you usually want both people to agree on a car, so tell them several times beforehand that you think that car will be the best for the family. Now be sure to buy that car (she gets to pick the colors if she has that option). Research indicates that even though women push their boundaries with their men, a man should have boundaries that cannot be crossed, where a man will stand unwavering and say this is what our family is doing. If a man doesn’t have that line, a woman will never be able to really respect him, even if she really wants to. A man must be in charge, but that man must also realize that being in charge does not mean handing over all the work to your wife and yourself idly or, on the other extreme, doing all the work yourself and not involving her. In nothing. It’s best when you involve the wife in the family finances, it helps you prioritize the budget, but again, you have to make the final decisions in all those areas, no matter how much she whines or fuss. No, she can’t go out with her friends if you have $50 left over for gas and food for the week. No matter how nice that shirt looks on you, you should budget for it before you buy it. There are many more examples that you probably already have in mind.

The third is finding the right social group. Yeah, that means your friends need to change. If in your social group it is acceptable for your wife to slap you, or there is no one with the balls to stand up to your wife and tell her that her behavior is wrong, then your “friends” do not deserve that title, known is more appropriate. This does not mean that your friends will do all the work for you, no, you still HAVE to follow steps 1 and 2 above. However, when you’re with your friends, you should talk when your wife shows slaps or other disrespect. Her wife should be ashamed of her behavior in a social setting. If you have the confidence and courage to deal with the fight later, socializing with the other women in your social group is a great thing to do. Not social to the point of being offensive, but enough to turn on the jealousy button in your wife. This automatically creates an atmosphere where her wife worries about losing you, and therefore she becomes more protective and loving of you. In this case, it’s important to remember that when the fight does happen (and it most likely will, especially after the third or fourth time she notices this new behavior on your part) never, ever, ever tell her why you’re being so rude. sociable with other females. If she does, it will backfire and bring the whole process back to the beginning or even worse.

This is a process that can take months, even years to complete, but now you have the steps necessary to turn your horrible situation into one that can bring you true fulfillment, true love, and true success. Your home can now be a place you long to go to, instead of a place you fear. Today is the day to do it. Don’t delay any longer. Go find that coworker who has a gym pass right now. Remember that we were created to enjoy and love our lives, not hate them or just get by.