She woke me up from a deep, deep sleep around midnight, looked me straight in the eye, pointed a finger at me, and exclaimed: I HATE YOU! At one point, he lay back on the bed, closed his eyes, and fell asleep or pretended to be. I ponder and wonder as much about the word hate as about its action. I was shocked! Hate means much more than dislike. “I don’t like you” would have been better than “I hate you!” that she told me.

We have been married for twelve years, had two children, good jobs, and a bright future. She was a classroom teacher. I was the pastor of a fast growing and dynamic Church. Our children were doing very well in school. We did not have liabilities although we did not have physical assets either.

Why was the question I asked myself and several weeks later? Why should he hate me? Why did he hate me? In an attempt to answer those why and what questions, I pointed a spotlight at various issues. I started with money. Can a woman hate her husband for his inability to satisfy her financial needs and desires? How could money breed hatred in a Christian home?

Then I questioned our live sex. Was she satisfied with our sexual relationship? Would sex provoke a husband or wife so much that they would hate their spouse? Rush? I asked several other questions in my mind about what could make her hate me. So, I made her tell me what was on her mind that hurt her so much to that point.

I’m sure you would like to know what you told me. Yes, you have the right to know and I will tell you. She hated me because while she liked hearing any information from me first, she was used to hearing it from someone else, especially from my church members.

She hated me for the lack of a perfect communication system in an Ideal Christian Home. Looking back today, thirteen years later, I have discovered through experience, research, and observation that a lack of education about marriage and family life before and after marriage is responsible for approximately 95% of failures in marriage. marriages.

The communication concept for this discussion is that the man understands that he needs to start each day with his wife with a soft Word, praising her for who she is: a daughter of God, loved and cared for especially by God. At noon, that is, after the busyness of the day, or at any particular period of the day when it is very necessary to remember a point, you should not be afraid to disagree with it, but only on the principles. He must be made to understand and realize that he cannot get away with it all the time.

Whatever happens, the man must worship and encourage his wife at night. You shouldn’t force her to go to bed with a load. This is a time when you need a lot of time to be at peace with your inner self to facilitate not only a deep sleep, but also a happy spiritual union with your God.

Although I do not wish to write authoritatively as a permanent rule, it is my firm opinion that every evening conversation that begins from any particular location within the house should end with a warm hug and loving kisses in the bedroom that culminates in both a physical (not necessarily genital) and a deep spiritual union of his whole being.