As we age, we often quickly forget the struggles we faced as teenagers. Although many of us vowed decades ago not to become like our parents, somehow fate made us embrace exactly what we once despised. Now, with our own children, their behavior seems strange and we panic. Instead of conquering our desire to be the role model for our children and their best friends, we find ourselves struggling to maintain a solid influence in their lives. Sounds familiar?
Going back to the steps that led to my rebellion as a young man and dealing with my own teenage children, I was able to uncover some workable parenting tips for maintaining my parental influence and blocking the wiles of opposing peer pressure. The key to my success has been nurturing my children’s desire to be successful and independent.
Think about it. Many of us couldn’t wait to come of age so we wouldn’t have to listen to our parents and explore life on our own. Our children are no different! In their minds, our rules are simply put in place to keep them from having fun. They believe that when they finally go out on their own, the good times will begin.
Often when we smother our children and enforce too many strict rules, we cause them to rebel. Worse yet, when they finally break free, they go berserk! This rebellious behavior in many cases is extremely destructive. To avoid this tragic fate, we must develop trust and nurture maturity and independence in our children.
I found it more helpful to assess my children and discover their deepest desires and dreams. Regardless of how far these dreams were from my own expectations, I embraced them and decided to help them establish a plan of action to achieve their goals. Nothing has been more rewarding than seeing the sparkle on my children’s faces when they saw that I genuinely embraced and supported their dreams and was able to provide helpful advice to address their desires. During our countless hours of planning, I have been able to establish trust while fostering a sense of pride and independence within them.
Working together on life projects with your children will ultimately bring you closer together. It will be amazing to see how many similar gifts and talents they have inherited from you. Spending quality time working on a project they’re excited about gives you a chance to see your kids open up and express who they really are, without worrying about being rejected or judged.
Be confident in your parenting skills and never argue with yourself. If he has done his job of instilling morals and values in his children, they will eventually land on their feet, no matter what! Be open and let them explore. Let them know that you trust them and believe in them. As you show your support for their independence, they will eventually hug you more.
You want to know what is really going on in your children’s lives and what really motivates them. Sit down and have a conversation today about collaborating with them on a project they’ll enjoy. Teach them how to set goals, how to research and find answers, and how to persevere despite adversity. I guarantee that they will take your advice and you will build a strong and healthy relationship that will last for many years to come. Put this simple tip into practice and you’ll turn an awkward relationship into a close bond that breeds success!