Some call them rugs, some rugs. Whichever way you prefer to refer to these practical floor coverings, one thing is for sure: there are more uses for rugs than meets the eye. Of course, we all know the boring old standard “purpose” of a rug. Place it on the ground, wherever people a.) walk on it, or b.) enjoy its beauty while complimenting you on your taste. Every once in a while someone wants both, but the more “a” happens, the less likely it is that “b” will continue to happen. OK, so I’ve lost my focus a bit, which is the other uses of rugs. The great thing about these multipurpose home accessories is that you can pretty much use them for what they’re intended for until you need them for one of the following.

There’s no way to sugarcoat it, so I’m going to go out there and say it. Let’s say you kill someone. This could be by accident or maybe not, who knows. But one way or another you have a fresh carcass on your hands and now you need to discreetly remove said carcass from your property. Now I don’t tell anyone to go out and kill someone, but hey, things happen. Perhaps this is geared more towards you mobsters and hitmen, those whose profession requires an occasional “beating down” from someone every once in a while. For you guys and gals (ever seen Bridget Fonda in Point of No Return?), there may not be a more convenient household product than a good-sized rug. After taking care of your business, just roll the poor sap up in the carpet, have one of their “associates” help you get your package out and into a waiting van, and take it to the dry cleaner, so to speak. Replace the rug he just used and you’re ready for your next task.

This next usage only applies to cartoon characters, so it doesn’t really apply to anyone. But humor me for the next paragraph, and pretend you’re living in a cartoon world. More specifically, imagine that you live in the cartoon world of Aladdin. This, of course, is because in this stereotypical land of the Middle East, the magic carpet is a bona fide mode of transportation. This could make choosing a new rug or carpet a tricky proposition. You don’t just have to worry about material, size and color combination. Now you have to consider things like cornering, safety features and gas mileage? Regardless, just keep in mind that your new area rug may one day be useful in other than lying on your floor and looking pretty if you’re a hitman or cartoon character.